Jam session + poetry under the stars

Open mic, but without a mic and sign up sheet. Under a beautiful mural at the Beach, a perfect breeze and a glorious Moon.

Souls from all walks of life came together to celebrate the moment, the expression, and the unique energy formed by emotion and creativity. Most importantly, an openness to learn and to grow and explore.

There were Djembes, drums, guitars, and violins. There were troubled words, and words of inspiration and joy. There was laughter, and even tears. It was intimate and close.

Earlier I had talked to my new friend on the phone and we both decided that the night held magical things, that we would create for ourselves a warm circle of energy. Its amazing that it was manifested itself its our lives.

Humanity.

Sadistic and selfish

Yet these moments happen, and you see that humans are such emotional and soulful creatures.

All of these amazing experiences are a result of a door opening, a door that was opened by overcoming my fears. So many adventures and opportunities are available to me now because I have freed myself from the prison that I clung to for so long: My fears.

Time and worry melted away in this place, in this circle of warmth that we created tonight. It was a place where nobody twittered, but instead lived in the moment. We went on well past Midnight, the peacefulness of the night a soundtrack to our perfect moment.

As the last of the candle flickered, its fire fading into the darkness, a slow, yearning melody played from my violin, as we all felt the approaching emptiness that would follow our separation.


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If you are interested in attending this magical event, it will now be occurring every Wednesday Evening in Long Beach. Following the Open Mic night at the infamous Portfolio's Cafe on 4th and Junipero, we all go down the street to Cherry and Ocean. Down the Bluff there is a big mural, and that is where we will be. Or, just follow the sound of the music. 10PM - Midnight.

Bring your words, music, or just your positive energy.

We Welcome All.

BDSM Subculture - Observations of People

BDSM: Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM)



I have been attending BDSM and fetish events and parties for about 7 years now. This subculture is beautiful in it's theatrics and drama, the fantasy coming alive and touching people's deepest needs.....yet only on the surface. There is a much more intense realm, one that I have not yet touched upon, as far as finding true, genuine people goes. I have found a few, but they are far and in between.

What I mean by "True" and "genuine" are those people who crave and desire a Power Exchange.....an intense exchange of energy. I do not intend to undermine the nature of those I encounter at events. I appreciate the subculture of open-minded and kinky individuals. I love the show: Masters with slaves on leashes, flesh hook suspensions, rope bondage, whips and chains.........It is a fabulous display of kink, fetish, and human nature. Most or all of those involved in the events must have some kind of submissive or dominant nature deep within them that they must indulge. They crave the presence of others who can relate.

So far I have observed certain types of people involved with this subculture:

1. Observers: These people wonder events and parties with a gleam in their eye, craving images and scenes that may brighten their dull, vanilla lives. They wish to see their fantasy come alive, they wish to communicate with people who can relate to them.

2. Abusers/Egoists: I have seen many "Dominant" men who can really lay into a submissive, in an intense and hardcore scene. They value the shock factor more then they do the person to which they are abusing. They get off on the public watching as they inflict huge amounts of pain. They feel like a king and like a bad-ass. They pay more attention to those watching then they do to those they are hurting. They do not value the head-space of the bottom, which makes them abusers. I once observed a "Dom" instructing his sub NOT to cry. He wanted to show everyone how hardcore they were.

3. Troubled Girls: It is true that many people in this lifestyle have experienced some sort of trauma or negative childhood experience. I have spoken to many females who have been raped, abused, or molested. I have heard some of the most disturbing stories ever while talking with submissive females in the lifestyle. The trouble is, these girls are incredibly vulnerable and can easily be taken advantage of by Abusers, as described in #2.

4. Performers/public participants: The drama of BDSM is addicting. Watching a scene, parts of it can strike a chord deep within that can keep us up all night. Fantasies that are never spoken of come to life, and entrance the viewers who have opened their mind to it. I will never forget the first time I visited a dungeon, and how much of an impact it had on me. I was shocked, impressed, envious, disturbed, and turned-on all at once. To be apart of the show, to be an image embedded on someone's mind, to corrupt minds and create fantasies: Performers create the vibe and scenes that people crave.

5. Lifestylers: These are people who live BDSM in their day-to-day life. Many have a relationship in which one person is Dominant over the other. There are many levels. Some are simply seeking a submissive partner, while others seek 24/7 live-in Master/slave relationships. Some people are collared, while others go as far as to modify their body to represent ownership.


People in BDSM come from all walks of life. Many or even Most people involved in BDSM do not choose to be public with it. People who are interested in a genuine power exchange tend to avoid the public events, thinking them fake, theatrical, and reckless.

If you are interested in BDSM I do recommend attending events and visiting related social networking sites. However, just be aware that it will be a rocky path, full of disappointments, but also full of wonder and discovery. You will discover parts of yourself you never fathomed existed, and will explore realms you never imagined. The lines between pain and pleasure will be blurred.

My Moment in Time

I DID IT!!

I overcame my Fear of rejection and I let go of the insecurities holding me back.

I made my Street Debut last night, as promised.

Lets back up a bit..............

This past weekend I attended the Millionaire Mind Intensive by T. Harv Eker. It was an intense, enlightening 3 day Seminar which included various techniques for getting in touch with your demons, shedding your childhood programming, ridding your mind of negative thoughts, and learning the ways of The Force.

The Seminar enabled you to learn and train your Jedi powers, while gaining valuable knowledge about wealth and money. One process helped us learn to overcome our fear.

Please visit www.peakpotentials.com if you are interested in similar endeavors.

Here are some ways I have changed since this weekend:

1. I no longer resent rich people.
2. I will become a rich person so I can live my dreams
3. I have drastically improved my ability to socialize, and at the same time I have shed some of the inhibitions that keep me from living my life, acting silly, and meeting interesting and diverse people.
4. I have come to terms with my deepest demons and faced them so that I may love myself more and allow myself the freedom to live without baggage.
5. I have realized the negative thoughts that hold me back, and I have replaced them with kick-ass thoughts
6. I have learned tools and techniques to avoid muddling my mind
7. I have tasted "the secret" and the process of manifestation.

8. I have gained the strength to overcome my fears

That last one is BIG.

I am a Violinist. My Dream is to play. I want to play in the world, in the streets, in the public.

I want to be the soundtrack to your Moment. I want to be the pretty melody over car horns and urban chaos. I want to inspire people as I have been inspired by the free-spirited street musicians I have encountered in my past. I want to be in the midst of the action, yet in my own perfect zone, just me and my notes.

For years my fears and insecurities have kept me from reaching this dream.

Near the end of the Seminar we broke through our fears by breaking an arrow with our throat. On my arrow was written my fears. I will never forget the absolute triumph I felt after hearing that "Snap."

Full of Energy and pure joy, I decided to share with the rest of the Seminar my fear and what I would do to overcome it. I took the mic and told everyone that I would be playing my Violin on Pine St. and Ocean next weekend. I was then told by the speaker that I should do this sooner. The next day, 7 PM, Pine and Ocean.

I agreed, and made a promise to the Universe, and to Myself, that it was time to end this, and start a new beginning.

The World is MY Playground, this is MY Life, and damn it, I want to play my violin out on the street.

So I did.

Yes I was nervous most of the day, and I spent quite some time listening to the top 40 most Inspirational songs ever, including but not limited to:

"Final Countdown" - Europe
"Lose Yourself" - Eminem
"Alive" - Celine Dion
"Chariots of Fire"

And the beautiful song I had the pleasure of experiencing in unifying bliss at the Seminar: "Moment in Time" by Whitney Houston.

Finally the moment came. I donned my electric blue fishnets and placed the broken arrow in my violin case. I gathered my 2 best friends (who are so amazing and supportive) and found the perfect spot on Pine/Ocean, right in front of the Convention Center.

I stalled while rosining my bow, and then..................I just played.

I played from my heart and soul. I played what I felt like playing. I played what I felt represented the moment.

Sure I messed up at times. It did not matter because the joy of playing in Downtown of my hometown, with the fresh Autumn air kissing my cheek, was intoxicating. The city lights as my background, the urban shuffle, and then the notes of a violin ringing through the air.

I was there. I was not confined to my home, with walls surrounding me. There were people, strangers, walking by. A few watched. A Parking attendant almost gave me a ticket. It was Amazing.

I felt the fear slip away, and I laughed at the silliness of it all.

As Promised I have provided footage of the event. Below are videos of my Street Debut.

Next Mission? Same spot, but on a Friday or Saturday night.

Footage:

**If you have trouble viewing you can go to my Video Bar (On the Left) to see the Youtube versions. There are 3 videos here, but there are more on my Youtube channel. *

Preparation

Tallulah Jammin!!!!

A Beautiful moment--Playing Meditation

Dodgers - The All-You-Can-Eat Pavillion

Dodger's Stadium is like any baseball stadium, one of nostalgia, magic, and pure all- American bliss. One glimpse of the gleaming "Think Blue" in the background and a whiff of a Dodger dog can bring a grin to any one's face. Yet if you decide to sit in the All-You-Can-Eat Pavilion, located in the crappy seats behind right field, you experience a whole new subculture of Dodger fanatics.

The Pavilion is chaotic, and the seats hurt your ass. However, the fans are hardcore and you can grub on as many Dodger Dogs as you want. Really, you can eat 10 if you want to. I can't count the number of times I saw someone pass my end seat with a plastic bag full of Dodger dogs. Entire families would supply themselves for weeks. The dogs are tempting, but I don't dig the weird vibe in my stomach afterwords. I have to ponder the nature of these hot dogs. I digress.

Pavilion fans have to be the most pro-active, obvious fanatics in the stadium. They started a wave twice, the kind that circle the stadium several times. They often began chants and cheers, more often than I ever experienced in the other areas of seating. They yell at the outfielders and yell at each other. It's awesome, and takes my mind off the fact that my ass hurts and my stomach is churning.


Do Not, under any circumstances, wear the opposite team's jersey or colors in the All-You-Can-Eat-Pavilion. You will look like a total ass, and receive an abundance of wrath from die-hard Dodger fans. You will get Booed intensely by everyone, and much will be thrown at you. Keep in mind these people have access to food all night, and have no problem straight chucking a dodger dog right at your head, and popcorn is inevitable. If you wear an Angel's jersey, you are likely to be physically injured, maybe even killed.

Those who Boo or taunt are often escorted out by security. This is not a shocking event, and happens quite often in the pavilion. I have included a video below, taken from the Dodgers VS Braves game.

If one is escorted out by a security guard, it is a badge of honor to wear with dignity and pride, marking his/her status as a die hard, truly zealous Fan. Observers will applaud the Fan, and many will even join in the escorting. Afterwords, the victim who sported the wrong colors will be the object of dirty looks of disdain.

The Pavilion is the ghetto of Dodger's stadium. It is where the party is at.

It is the place with the Fans who Bleed Blue.


Top: 7th Inning Stretch

Bottom: Booing the "Braves" fan, Security included!

Cuddle Parties

Humans crave affection and comfort. No one can deny the waves of pleasure that ensues when being "spooned" or cuddled.

In major cities across the country, a phenomenon called "cuddle Parties" has been satisfying the needs of people of all ages.

The below description was taken from the Cuddle party Website.

What a Cuddle Party Is: A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment. A laboratory where you can experiment with what makes you feel safe and feel good.

This playful, fun workshop has been a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection, a space to reframe assumptions about men and women, and a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others.

Can Cuddle Party restore your faith in humanity? It just might. But at the very least, you'll have a great time, and leave feeling relaxed and inspired.

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Cuddle Parties contain rules such as "No Means No," and "Clothes stay on." Clearly, these are non-sexual, positive events meant to provide a safe and comfortable environment for those who are craving a little human touch in their lives.

Cuddle Parties provide an escape for people. They re-energize and rejuvenate people, and leave them with positive vibes and a great feeling. According to testimonies, the parties are healing and provide people with that bit of intimacy that we need without having to commit to a relationship or sex.

Most other cultures are more "touchy feely" than ours. In some European cultures a kiss is used to greet, and in many primitive cultures people spend a lot of time dancing with each other and being intimate, be it physical or not. Human intimacy is not a priority in American culture, and in fact we have turned in to a tense, cold, and distant society, suspicious of those around us and hesitant to touch or even speak to one another. What results is a void and a longing for affection.

Many may fill this void with drugs or alcohol, while others may find themselves deeply effected emotionally by such a lack of intamacy. People often feel lonely even when surounded by friends and peers and people who love them. Others simply become cold and distant and continue to pass their cultural programming to future generations, creating a society of strangers and suspicion. Some people may participate in casual sex to try and achieve what they are seeking, but orgasm does not equal affection.

While many may view these cuddle parties as goofy, cheesy, or weird, I see it as a healthy outlet for people and a way to bring human intimacy in to your life without the pressure of committment. In addition, I believe it would be healthy and liberating for people to be intimate with others, just for the sake of comforting other human beings. We are all people and we should all celebrate our similarities and differences.

We all know what it is like to feel pain, just as we all know how good it feels to have an arm around you or simply connect energies with a big bear hug.

Below is a link to the official Cuddle Party website.

http://www.cuddleparty.com/

Newly discovered subcultures to check out, going Undercover

Zombie fighters

Live Action Role Play

Real life Super Heroes

Trekkies (Nothing new, but I just decided to explore)

Urban Spelunking

Free Runners

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I have my work cut out for me, but a very interesting life ahead of me indeed.

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Why do I believe I can accomplish a great project or book about Subculture? What makes me feel I can do better than those out there? Well I still have a lot of reading and checking out to do. I went on Amazon and I took a look at the following books, and then I found reasons why mine will be awesome and more appealing. This is based on description and reviews, but I still need to read them. Here are a few:

Subculture: The Meaning of Style, 2nd Edition New Accents Library (The New Accent) (Hardcover)

by DICK HEBDIGE

----This book appears to be focusing on style and fashion. The author bases his knowledge on history and observation.

I will look at subculture from a participant point of view, and actually experience the life of those involved. Rather than focusing on fashion, i will focus on the human aspect, and what draws people to their world of choice

Subculture: The Meaning of Style (New Accents) (Paperback)

by Dick Hebdige


-----Appears to contain insightful and intelligent content, but focuses on Post war subculture, mostly related to music. I will be exploring subcultures that are rarely heard of, many of which have little to do with music or war.

Inside Subculture: The Postmodern Meaning of Style (Dress, Body, Culture) (Paperback)

by David Muggleton


---Focuses on Style and is written "almost exclusively for specialists in the field."This is also a book whose arguments are built off those in the above book by Dick Hebdige.

After Subculture: Critical Studies in Contemporary Youth Culture (Paperback)

by Andy Bennett (


---Appears to be a short book, only 256 pages. How in depth can you get with 256 pages? Looks to be just an overview.

Subculture: The Fragmentation of the Social (Paperback)

by Professor Chris Jenks


---This book looks very insightful and in-depth, with extensive analysis pertaining to history and philosophy. This book looks truly interesting, but the author is again writing as an outsider, not as an insider. Very scholarly and great for academic purposes.

The Call of the Weird: Travels in American Subcultures (Hardcover)

by Louis Theroux (Author)


----This book looks great and I love how the author actually interviews and hangs out with his "subjects." He appears to have a fantastic and ironic sense of humor, and he includes quotes and personal experience. Also, he explores a variety of subcultures, some of which are not well known at all. I like the following quote and conclusion: "On the list of qualities necessary to humans trying to make out way through life, truth scores fairly low...in the end, feeling alive is more important than telling the truth....We are instruments for feeling, faith, energy, emotion, significance, belief, but not really truth."

Embracing the Darkness; Understanding Dark Subcultures (Paperback)

by Corvis Nocturnum


--This one is definitely more of what I am going for. The author is a "dark" member of society who explores his world with the kind of curiosity, seeker of truth type of mindset that intrigues me. This book only focuses on Dark subculture.


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Again, I have not read these books yet. I have a long journey ahead of me. Even if no book or work comes out of this, I will still have lived a life walking many different paths. I will still have met interesting people, and I would still have a great repertoire on humanity and the many facets of our world and culture.

Most...almost ALL people who I talk to do not understand what it is I am trying to accomplish. Perhaps I am not even clear.

I am a studyer of Anthropology. An Anthropologist is a direct participant in the cultures they study. They learn from those they observe, and they actively immerse themselves in the culture to which they have commited themselves to. The above authors have not done this. I will.

I will become friends with these people. I will participate in their rituals or ceremonies or activities. I will use their slang and terminology. I will dress as a medievel night and live action role play. I will donate my blood to vampires and watch Star Trek marathons if I have to. I will prepare for zombie battles and explore abandoned buildings.

When you observe people from the outside, your knowledge is limited. You will only hear or know what they want you to know. When you are ONE with them, when they trust and relate to you, that is when you really find out what its all about.

Its the same as undercover cops. You do not really know what is going on until you are a participant in the action.

I will be going undercover, and I will share my experiences with the world and hopefully spread a deeper appreciation for the diverse and varied interests and desires of humanity.

Reflections from the street

The people of the Free World are truly people to Respect. The people of the Free World are survivors. They do not depend on anyone. They are completely. Free. They are strong minded. They are more in touch with themselves then most of the planet. They may seem crazy, but the reality is that WE are the fools. We who depend on technology and matarial items for happiness. We who couldnt survive one day out in the streets. We who cry at the first sign of dissapointment, and who give up after rejection.

We, who Fall when we stumble.

In this society, we direct our respect in all the wrong places.

We worship those who smile and make millions. We admire those whose beauty makes our jaw drop. We Respect those who wear suits and drive expensive cars. We devote much of our precious life to admiring these people.......but the true survivors dont get so much as a glance.
Thats OK though, because I am sure they prefer it that way.

I met a man today, named OHANA. All he owned was a bike and a pair of pants. I spoke to him for 3 hours. I will never forget what he said.

"I am richer then I could ever imagine."

Nobody is truly rich, until they are Free.