BDSM: Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM)
I have been attending BDSM and fetish events and parties for about 7 years now. This subculture is beautiful in it's theatrics and drama, the fantasy coming alive and touching people's deepest needs.....yet only on the surface. There is a much more intense realm, one that I have not yet touched upon, as far as finding true, genuine people goes. I have found a few, but they are far and in between.
What I mean by "True" and "genuine" are those people who crave and desire a Power Exchange.....an intense exchange of energy. I do not intend to undermine the nature of those I encounter at events. I appreciate the subculture of open-minded and kinky individuals. I love the show: Masters with slaves on leashes, flesh hook suspensions, rope bondage, whips and chains.........It is a fabulous display of kink, fetish, and human nature. Most or all of those involved in the events must have some kind of submissive or dominant nature deep within them that they must indulge. They crave the presence of others who can relate.
So far I have observed certain types of people involved with this subculture:
1. Observers: These people wonder events and parties with a gleam in their eye, craving images and scenes that may brighten their dull, vanilla lives. They wish to see their fantasy come alive, they wish to communicate with people who can relate to them.
2. Abusers/Egoists: I have seen many "Dominant" men who can really lay into a submissive, in an intense and hardcore scene. They value the shock factor more then they do the person to which they are abusing. They get off on the public watching as they inflict huge amounts of pain. They feel like a king and like a bad-ass. They pay more attention to those watching then they do to those they are hurting. They do not value the head-space of the bottom, which makes them abusers. I once observed a "Dom" instructing his sub NOT to cry. He wanted to show everyone how hardcore they were.
3. Troubled Girls: It is true that many people in this lifestyle have experienced some sort of trauma or negative childhood experience. I have spoken to many females who have been raped, abused, or molested. I have heard some of the most disturbing stories ever while talking with submissive females in the lifestyle. The trouble is, these girls are incredibly vulnerable and can easily be taken advantage of by Abusers, as described in #2.
4. Performers/public participants: The drama of BDSM is addicting. Watching a scene, parts of it can strike a chord deep within that can keep us up all night. Fantasies that are never spoken of come to life, and entrance the viewers who have opened their mind to it. I will never forget the first time I visited a dungeon, and how much of an impact it had on me. I was shocked, impressed, envious, disturbed, and turned-on all at once. To be apart of the show, to be an image embedded on someone's mind, to corrupt minds and create fantasies: Performers create the vibe and scenes that people crave.
5. Lifestylers: These are people who live BDSM in their day-to-day life. Many have a relationship in which one person is Dominant over the other. There are many levels. Some are simply seeking a submissive partner, while others seek 24/7 live-in Master/slave relationships. Some people are collared, while others go as far as to modify their body to represent ownership.
People in BDSM come from all walks of life. Many or even Most people involved in BDSM do not choose to be public with it. People who are interested in a genuine power exchange tend to avoid the public events, thinking them fake, theatrical, and reckless.
If you are interested in BDSM I do recommend attending events and visiting related social networking sites. However, just be aware that it will be a rocky path, full of disappointments, but also full of wonder and discovery. You will discover parts of yourself you never fathomed existed, and will explore realms you never imagined. The lines between pain and pleasure will be blurred.
