The Invisible Children and the Joy of Life.

Do not misunderestimate the opportunities of everyday life. Seize every chance to the expansion of your mind.

I bounced off to class today with my R2D2 backpack and breathed in the fresh air. As I walked under the trees to my class I thought about all of the things I wish to accomplish and all of my dreams and desires.

I left my class in a state of shock and despair, void of hope for humanity and the joy of life. I was aware that this feeling was temporary, but I allowed it to feel my soul and overwhelm my mind. I cried all the way home. I snapped at my mom upon my return, and I cursed the world under my breath. My entire demeanor and attitude had changed.

In my Cultural Anthropology class we viewed a film called "Invisible Children." This was a documentary done by 3 very young American adults, just on a mission to understand...a mission for the truth. They traveled to Sudan with No plan and some film. What they documented and discovered there is nothing new, and an issue that many of us know of vaguely. This documentary focused on the child warriors. These children, hundreds of thousands, are abducted and trained as killing machines. They know of nothing but death and murder. The rest of the children, who live in utter terror of the Rebels, spend every waking moment of their life trying to survive. It is a Holocaust going on right now in this world, with immense suffering, and terrible pain. I can not even begin to imagine the fear that these people feel every day. In the meantime, precious culture and tradition is lost, while Lives are disposed of daily. Life consists of walking, hiding, sleeping. I just watched in disbelief at the images before me, feeling so much despair. It took every effort not to cry in class, and I wondered why everyone seemed so....unaffected by it. Perhaps some are better at hiding their emotion than others.

I left class thinking, I GOT to go save those people, I have to help them, I have to do something! But what am I thinking? I am no superhero. Yet something inside of me tells me that I can help those people, I can help someone. I can go there and change everything. That is what I feel, however unrealistic it is.

I remember my friend Ndume and I were talking one day, and we were talking about the purpose of Life. The conclusion of that particular conversation is that the purpose of Life is to simply Be Happy. The Purpose of Life is as simple as: To Find Joy in Living.

At the end of this film, the children were laughing, smiling, and dancing. These same children were hiding in fear the night before, sobbing over the death of their friends or family, and struggling to find a bit of food and shelter only hours before. Yet they were still able to Smile. How fucking Amazing is that? That is why I am thinking the Ultimate Purpose of Life is to find Joy. Even in the midst of a war in the most tragic of times, during Genocide and child killers, those people still find something to make them Smile. They still find the joy in Life, hiding somewhere between all the misery and suffering. They still dance and have music, and find someone to love and to care about.

I wish I could be there just to Hold one of them, just to caress their head and let them use me as a pillow instead of the hard, wet ground. I wish I could grant their wish of becoming a teacher, I wish I could keep them from having to hide even for just one day. I feel so far away, so helpless.
How can I sleep tonight without feeling such guilt and disgust at the pillow I need for my head and the mattress under my back? When I turned on this very computer, a luxury in itself, the first thing I saw was an article about how Heidi Klums legs are insured for 7.8 MILLION dollars. After viewing those children, some of who did not even Have legs at all, I felt such incredible disgust. How is the world this way?

Joy is so easily found in My Life, while others must desperately search for it. Fear is so rare in my Life, while others Live in it.

Those precious children. Their faces will haunt me in my Dreams tonight, and my helplessness will continue to overwhelm me.

However, I know that those children, who can find a way to smile despite their suffering, would not want me to despair. I must continue to find joy...for them. If I, who has everything, can not smile, then what hope is there for Life, if the purpose of Life is to find Happiness? What other purpose can there be? People Live to Live, they live to hide and run, tell me, what is their purpose? Our Lives are not leading up to anything big, any one moment that will be our Purposeful moment. We are small and insignifiant, yet we have the Power to make our Lives bigger than us. It is just a long journey. Your Destination? Death. This is a positive thing. This is relieving. This allows us to enjoy the small moments, like the smell of autumn in the morning, or a brief connection with a stranger.

Or, a joyful Dance in the middle of a small dirt road in Sudan, where for a moment, all suffering is forgotten, and fear is sacrificed for the sake of a Radiant Smile.